Friday, July 10, 2009

Momma turns to the bottle

You know things are bad when you call your pediatrician and ask numbly "Why will my child not nap? She is crying. Please help." Before I placed the call, I knew deep in the depths of my denial, they wouldn't be able to help. They gave me the spiel of "set a routine" done. "read her stories" done. "maybe she is testing you" hmmmm my daughter? nahhhhhh. And so on and so on until I wanted to scream "What are you a witch doctor? Why can't you solve my problems? "
This issue seems to be going on for weeks but in reality it has probably only been a day or 2. Most people who know Karrington would say I am blessed (ie spoiled and in for a rotten bit of luck with the next one, or so they hope) with a easy going child who never fusses in restaurants, loves going to the daycare at my gym, and never EVER cries. And with this nap time issue she still does not cry. She screams. Not a little shriek but full on top of the lung, never ending screams. she lets out a silent scream where her body just shakes. Sometimes she gasps for air. Whatever she decides to let out though she can turn it off in a second. Until that is you piss her off again. Which in the last few days means laying her down for a nap.
I have to believe it has to do with teething. Which, as my loving husband points out, is why it feels to be going on for weeks. She seems to get a new tooth every 2 1/2 or 3 weeks. I feel bad for her really I do. I'm not a heartless mommy. I would gladly grant her wish to remain toothless for life. If we never take her to the dentist she can have that wish eventually. Until then however she is stuck w/ shards of bone cutting through her gum and me sending her on a Tylenol binge.
Yesterday was really bad though. I tried unsuccessfully for 2 1/2 hours to put her down. She completely missed her afternoon nap. I took her to daycare while I went to Weight Watchers (where I had a breakdown) and warned them that she might be possessed by the devil. When I returned they said gleefully "Look how happy she is! We never heard one scream"I suppose they thought this would make me feel good. Instead I wanted to shove my daughter's bottle up their loving butt holes. My husband knows I am a selfish troll and nothing makes me feel better then others experiencing my pain. This time though I just felt like a failure. I was glad though she wasn't unhappy. Until she got home that is.
My husband rescued me with a bottle of Wine and Roses. Never before has wine tasted so good. Instead of leaving the hospital with diapers and manuals they should just give you a case of booze and say "good luck" In fact, Similac would make millions of mothers happy if along with the sample
Today (knock on wood) the first nap appears to be successful. We will see about the next one. For those that are saying "Gee and you think you want another one?" I say that I think I handled this very well. I remained calm and loving through it all. I didn't throw her out the window. Though I did want to kick the termite lady that rang our doorbell during her nap in the boob. You can only take so many hours of screaming however, before you hit your own breaking point. There is nothing wrong with crying in front of your Weight Watchers leader and 5 other ladies because they have all been there. Granted they probably all thinking "Sucker!" as I imagine most mom's with grown children do. But that is their right as woman who have survived. Once you get over any certain hump you are allowed to silently gloat over those who are currently going through it.
We all have our breaking points. Sometimes it's once a week, maybe once a month. In these hard times remember this. We are blessed to live in America. Where there is a liquor store on every corner.